And we're back online.

I knew it couldn't last...

This is a big whine. It's not a huge deal in the big scheme of things, it's just me being pissed about the discourtesy of others.

Two weeks ago I bought a brand new car. My first new car. A really, really nice car. Subaru Impreza WRX wagon. There's even a picture of it just at the end of this update, which I took the day after I bought it.

Those of you who've known me for a while know that I have, in the past, had a small problem with spatial awareness as it relates to automobiles. More to the point, I crashed into things a lot. I was determined, however, to keep this new car pristine. I've been driving very carefully (mostly because I haven't passed the breakin period yet) and have tried to not park too near to other people or to put my car in places where it's possible it could get hit. I've been good - I swear.

The universe, however, seems to have decided that this needs to not be. I parked my car in front of my girlfriend's house, spent the day there, and came home late at night. This morning, I walked outside and noticed that someone had scraped the paint off of my bumper all the way down to the plastic. I haven't even had the car for a month yet. Haven't made the first payment. Haven't even had its picture taken by the insurance company, and already I have to take it to the body shop. The best part is - they didn't bother to leave a note or anything. Just "whoopsie!" and drove off, pretending nothing happened.

I took the car to two different body shops today. The first one gave me a quote of $625 to fix it, but when I told him there's no way I'm going to submit an insurance claim to save $125 he re-quoted me at $500. The second place quoted $550, but the guy was a jerk so I'm not going to bother going back.

So now I'm pissed. I'm out $500 that I don't have because some jerk in Berkeley decided their insurance rates were too high to allow them to own up to their mistake. My monthly payment on the car is $450, so this effectively adds another month to the loan.

I really, really hate people.

So I bought a new refrigerator...


Buy my stuff!

The old front page.

I received this in my email yesterday! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

By my observations of your pictures, I notice that you are incredibly down-home-looking and of moderate-high to high body mass. This makes you highly undesirable as a person or a member of the human race. Don't get this wrong - this isn't hatemail, this is simply an observation that you have channeled your own self-disgust into a angstful hate rant to the universe (which, by all means, has more than enough of you pseudo-anarchists who don't actually do anything anarchistic) ta ta for now.

BTW - Don't bother sending anything back for these two reasons:

1. I have an IP morpher
2. This is a hotmail account which I have already forgotten the password to.

Yes, you heard it from "Some Random Person who Doesn't Actually Want to Talk to Me" first -- the reason I post stuff on DieDieDie.com is because I am fat and ugly!

Please excuse me while I go cry.

Play UO on the Napa Valley shard? I recently sold my tower on eBay. Look for more auctions in the future...

Here's a quick tip for all you lovely people out there who want to remain lovely.

Do not catch your earring on a car door and rip it out of your ear.

Unless you like the emergency room and/or tetanus shots.

This, of course, assumes you have an earring.

I do not.

Any more.

I would like you to meet my futurStatus: 302 Moved location: /login?_sid=VXkahzqHHPIHhAkeCKN7PJdGjY Content-type: text/html You should automatically be redirected to /login?_sid=VXkahzqHHPIHhAkeCKN7PJdGjY e girlfriend. I will keep you updated on my progress -- right now I'm trying to figure out how to submit an application...

I have just installed copies of DreamWeaver and Allaire HomeSite so I can get more familiar with them for work. They seem to take a lot more overhead than my previous editor of preference, Notepad.exe.  Time will tell whether their whizbang neato features will be worth the time and hassle of learning new stuff... although I will say that visually editing tables is pretty neato when compared to the alternative guess-and-save-and-hit-F5-a-lot method I'm used to... ;)

All your base are belong to us!

Tunak Tunak Tun!

So I'm bored and looking around for stuff to delete (100 megs gets used up fast if you're not careful...) and I ran across this reminder of my past. I laughed almost as much as I did when I orginally put it together. Hope you're as entertained by it as I am.

I was just browsing my network stats when I noticed a disturbing trend in the locations of my viewers. To wit:

203 url.cms.k12.nc.us
77 proxy.cms.k12.nc.us
75 ws-209-232-60-2.nohum.k12.ca.us
57 lrc3.mcae.k12.mn.us

What is troubling me about this? How about the fact that the stuff that I spew about child slavery and trephination is ABLE TO BE VIEWED FROM NORTH CAROLINA ELEMENTARY, MIDDLE, AND HIGH SCHOOLS.

I am extremely upset by this piece of news, and am pondering taking steps to ensure that I am added to the proxy filtering software of the schools in question. If I do so, I only pray that I am not too late to prevent an impressionable young child from drilling a hole in her head.

Actually, I don't care about that. I just want you little pukes to get back to learning how to spell instead of screwing around doing things that weren't possible when I was in school.

Seanbaby's Home Page!  Many  True Funs!

Seanbaby's home page is one of my favorite places on the net. Anyone who was alive through the NES era should go there.

The internet can be confusing and perilous to people unfamiliar with its wiles. I frequently get asked questions such as the one below:

I was just bein bored one day and typing in anything I could think of into my location bar. I tried didiedie and it worked. Whaddya know? Anyway I thought I might ask if you knew of anyway for me to teach myself how to "really" use the internet and become part of it instead of watching it all go by from my dusty little puter screen. Any advice is good advice.


Well, as it so happens I have a 12-step program available for just that purpose. After sending this poor, unfortunate soul a copy of the plan, I had a breakthrough in conscience. As a result, I've decided to stop holding this information to myself unless asked, and release it to the public domain. Here, now, are my 12 steps guaranteed to make you an integral part of the Internet.

How To Use The Internet (For Real, Not Just Watching It Go By)
A 12-step program
by: Scumbag

Step 1) Get a computer.
Step 2) Make the computer go.
Step 3) Get a modem, ADSL router, OC48, or other connection to the internet.
Step 4) Make the modem, ADSL router, OC48, or other connection to the internet go.
Step 5) Get a 6 foot length of Category 5 network cable with standard RJ45 connectors on each end
Step 6) Get a Makita 9.6v cordless drill (the neato blue ones) and a 3/8" bi-metal bit (titanium alloys are best)
Step 7) Carefully drill through your left temple to a depth of 1.28" Be sure not to go too deep, or you'll perforate the frontal lobe.
Step 9) Plug one end of the RJ45 cable into your internet connection
Step 10) Plug the other end into your skull
Step 11) Spend the next 30 or so seconds knowing that you're not just using the internet, you *are* the internet. Eat your heart out, Shodan
Step 12) Smile giddily until you pass out from blood loss.

Hopefully this will help to guide many more listless souls along the true path to Internet Nirvana. Or, it could get me arrested when people are too dumb to realize that drilling holes in their skulls is not a project for the casual do-it-yourselfer.

I got a haircut. Click here for a comparison.

Some l33t h4X0rz took over www.senate.gov - the US Senate's homepage. Sadly, the hacked page (and actually, the entire site -- apparently somebody changed the root password and the webmaster couldn't get into the machine to make changes...) was taken down.

Fortunately, I have an archived copy of the page here on DieDieDie. Enjoy.

This is the Random Goth Quote Generator from The Brunching Shuttlecocks' page. I find it very humorous.

A Quote

Somebody on eBay decided it would be funny to auction off 24 small Japanese children. I have to agree.

That same somebody decided that, because I was so good to his children... oh, what the hell. Here it is in his own words:


First off, let me thank you for being a loyal supporter of my 24 Japanese Kids. They really appreciate it! I have been pretty busy making other sales on ebay and otherwise just causing trouble, but upon finding your mirror, the group who influenced and originally tested out the 24 kids have created a NEW sale for you to see!


We are selling the bazooka and shells that you got for XMAS 97'. Since they mean so much to you, we figured it was the same as selling you. I hope that you're happy.

Thanks again for being good to my children. Take it easy and don't hesitate to write me if you have any questions.

And just so that when the Fun Police (our motto: "No fun! Fun bad!") take down the page on eBay, I have a local mirror of the auction page. This is why I love the internet.

For a while I thought the 24 children thing was the most humorous eBay auction ever. I was wrong.

Okay - more eBay! Kain-The-Feared is auctioning off his mad Starcraft skillz!

I love IRC